8/20/2009
The Google Chrome Browser Diet
The Story of the Overweight Browser
Note to reader – this post is part of the Mission Im(Possible) Group Project hosted by Joanna Young.
The Whipped Cream and Sardines Browser
One day a blogger got fed up with his Firefox browser. It was slow. It hogged his processor. It wouldn’t shut down properly. It had five layers of menu bars, almost to the point where navigation commands consumed more screen real estate than the web page itself.
Although the blogger cursed Firefox, deep inside he knew that he was the cause of the problem. This blogger never met a Firefox add-on he didn’t like. He tacked on browser features relentlessly – add-ons to check PageRank, add-ons to take screen shots, add-ons to monitor StumbleUpon, Twitter, and social networks he hadn’t even joined. Firefox offered thousands of add-ons, and the blogger was like a kid in a candy store sticking his grubby fingers into every jar.
But the blogger in the candy store didn’t know that add-ons didn’t always combine into tasty treats. Instead of chocolate and peanut butter he was getting a browser full of whipped cream and sardines. It was giving him and his CPU a massive stomach ache.
Google Chrome Browser to the Rescue
When Firefox refused to shut down anymore, the blogger downloaded Google Chrome as a stopgap measure. He knew nothing about Chrome, but having used Gmail and Google Docs on a regular basis with no stomach upset, he had confidence in the brand.
When he opened Google Chrome for the first time, it was like going from an all-you-can-eat buffet to a fat farm.
Five menu options. No spiffy toolbars – not even the Google Toolbar. No one-click Stumbling. No one-step Google/Yahoo searching. How would he survive?
Thankfully, the thoughtful folks at Google made importing bookmarks and saved passwords a five-second operation, providing the blogger with some comfort food in his stripped down new search world.
And indeed the blogger’s frown slowly morphed into a smile. The new browser opened in a flash. Page loading was lightening fast. System shutdowns proceeded without incident. And the funniest thing of all – he did not miss any of the add-on candy.
Because it took an extra half minute to Stumble, he became more selective in his Stumbling. He found a quick fix to PageRank checking without adding the extra programming weight of a plugin. He discovered that he was fighting trim, free at last of his browsing candy addiction.
Over to You
And now the blogger wonders how many others out there are slowly, imperceptibly becoming less efficient in their efforts to be more efficient. How much is enough? When does enough become too much?
Is your browser or blog or bookmark folder overweight? If so, the blogger with the heavy browser has good news for you.
Virtual weight is much easier to shed than the real thing. Care for a stalk of celery?
29 Responses to The Google Chrome Browser Diet
Brad, you’ve made me wonder why I have been so resistant to Chrome… I am tempted to try it now; my browsers are painfully slow. Thanks!
Emma, Please let me know what you think. It’s definitely Spartan, but you’ll be amazed at the speed.
Brad…your use of metaphors in truly inspiring. You can make them up on the spot, can’t you. I am working on one that i ‘think’ fits…but….not coming to moi, very easily.
Well done article.
GL, Thanks, but actually coming up with metaphors is very difficult for me. But I look forward to reading your post – please let us know when it’s ready.
I am a FireFox addict. Yes, I have three tons of add ons and toolbars and yes, I permanently keep at least 3o tabs open. I never considered something else. But this post has convinced me to give Chrome a try, sometime down the line
Plus I had tons of fun reading it 
Hi Alina, You may one day be buried under the weight of your browser, which is the only reason I went on my crash diet. Glad you enjoyed the post, and if you give Chrome a try, I hope you will share your experience.
Didn’t see this mentioned in your post or any of the comments – but Chrome is not yet available for Mac. Looks like it is coming as I was able to request updates on progress being made. Safari has been generally fine for me, except for a rare incompatibility issue.
Bill, From what I hear, you Mac users on Safari are living in paradise.
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Brad, I really enjoyed the metaphor (or is it analogy?) – made perfect sense, and helped me to think about why I should maybe give Chrome a whirl too. If only dieting in real life was so easy!
Thanks for taking part in this project – it’s been loads of fun, and people have gone off in all sorts of interesting and unexpected directions
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Joanna,
What remarkable possibilities you inspired us to discover! I must say, though, as wonderful as many of these entries are, your fairy tale touched me the most.
Lillie Ammann´s last blog ..Post #600
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Joanna,
thanks for putting all this together – must have been quite some work for you! Somehow I could not find my own contribution — am I too blind too find it?
I am looking forward to the weekend when I will have the time to go through all the contributions.
Ulla Hennig´s last blog ..Accountability – And a Shout Out for Barbara Ling
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Thanks a lot Joanna! for including my submission in the project. It’s indeed a pleasure
*bows head*
Amy Dyslex
Write a Writing´s last blog ..How to Write Creatively
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I am truly impressed with the variety and the courage of all these folks to step out of their comfort zones and produce some really great art and writing. I’m especially impressed with all that willingness to try new things. I thought about doing a certain project for a long time, and in the end, didn’t go through with it. I’m not sure what stopped me.
Maybe all of these inspiring people will give me the nudge to go ahead and hit the “publish’ button at a future point.
Bo´s last blog ..Announcing a New Blog Site
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Joanna, Wow, what a collection! I think I’ll put off checking into all these to the weekend, so I can savor every one. Thank you for putting together this absolutely brilliant project.
Brad Shorr´s last blog ..10 Essential Twitter Writing Tips
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Wow! What a collection. They all look really intersting and I need to remember to find time to visit them all.
Debbie Yost´s last blog ..Voice and Speech Update
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Hi, I happened to come across this group and I sure could use some help. I’ve been thinking about writing my story for many years. I’d like to get started doing that because I’m 71 years old.
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Wow – fresh bunch of writings aggregated in one place. The stage is set then for a non-participant like me to raid this veritable treasure chest of writing gems. As Brad might put it, it will me take me a long while to get to the barn. But I’d get to each one – all in due time. Yeeha.
jan geronimo´s last blog ..Gerson Garcia Poem: “Bells and Women”
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I can’t for a minute believe you’re uncomfortable with storytelling, using the third person point of view and using metaphors. You’re us on, Brad. Just saw you suppressing what could be a beginning of a smile!
If indeed it is? You did it well – I didn’t see any evidence of a mighty exertion coming from you.
As regards the topic, this best describes me as well, “This blogger never met a Firefox add-on he didn’t like.” Touche.
Congratulations on the Thesis theme. Takes me by surprise – a whole new modern look. And I’m loving it.
@ Lillie, thank you so much. It was a wonderful piece to write too
@ Ulla, so sorry. When I was compiling this (and yes, it is always a bit fiddly to do the compilations) I had a nagging feeling I was going to forget someone… so sorry it was you! All fixed now, and thanks again for stretching out of your comfort zone
@ Amy, well, thanks for taking part
@ Bo, thanks for the feedback, I’m sure the participants will appreciate it. Maybe there’s as much to be learned from what we don’t do… I know there was a project I chickened out of publishing, and I can see the lessons from that writ large… I’ll get there one day
@ Brad, hope you enjoy the exploration – there’s lots of interesting stuff in here. Thanks again for your own contribution
@ Debbie, all in good time I know you’ve plenty of other things to keep you busy
@ Darlene, thanks for stopping by and saying hello. You’ll find lots of people interested in writing around here, so I hope you do find some ideas, motivation and support to help you tell your story.
@ Jan, I hope you find the riches you’re looking for
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WOW, what a great exercise in expanding boundaries! And how wonderful that it’s all pulled together in one spot – some of the entries are very creative indeed. I really enjoyed reading them all!
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog ..Give BACK to Your Affiliates – Covert Angel Time
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Joanna, The difference between analogy and metaphor is a touch beyond my grasp, but I’ve got a feeling I used both in this post. What a wonderful project you whipped together – thanks again!
Jan, Nice new avatar! You’re looking good. Actually, I’m not fooling at all. My natural inclination is to write essays. This type of thing takes me an enormous amount of time and I always feel the results come up short. But feedback like yours is encouraging, so I’ll keep at it.
If either of you tries Chrome, I’d love to hear your impressions. For me it was the best crash diet ever. (ooh .. .crash … computer browser … bad metaphor.)
Joanna, you must have had tears in your eyes as you saw the evidence of your inspiration. As I went down this list, I could see how so many had accepted this challenge and faced down fears and ventured into new territory. To have had so many to respond to the challenge under your gentle tutelage makes me a bit misty eyed. Well done Joanna and well done for all who tried something new. I am happily going to gorge on the feast presented here!
Karen Swim´s last blog ..55,000 Web sites hacked to serve up malware cocktail | Zero Day | ZDNet.com
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Hi Joanna. Thanks again for organizing this. Stepping outside of the old comfort zone gave me more room to play Left the inner critic way behind.
Davina´s last blog ..Social Media? Go Ahead, Fly Your Freak Flag
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Davina, I’d love to leave that “inner critic” here!! Are those of us who write (or want to) more prone to be critical of ourselves?
It looks like most of you have web pages. I don’t.
I have no clue how to put my picture on here as most of you have done. I guess I have lots to learn. Darlene
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Barbara “an exercise in expanding boundaries” – yes it was. I like the way you put that – you do have a great knack for summarising things! Thanks for your own contribution
Karen I did often have tears in my eyes when I saw the stretch people had taken. Thanks for knowing me so well Karen
Davina well, here’s to beating that old inner critic! Play is a good way to get past him/her indeed.
Darlene I think the act of sharing our words requires courage – it takes us out of our comfort zone. The inner critic likes to pounce at that moment – perhaps there’s an element of protection there, but it tends to go too far and stop us from doing things we really want to do. Writing your way through and past it can be very empowering though
Re the picture, if you’d like your picture to show up with your comments you could pop over to Gravatar and sign up. Whenever you type your e-mail address your picture will be recognised.
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This is incredibly impressive – a heartfelt congratulations to all of you brave ones! I tried – experimented with artwork involving phrases of the themes from my book but I just hated it. Your project made me realise how locked in to my words I am – after seeing all of these entries I regret not persevering.
Emma Newman´s last blog ..Battling the demons of doubt
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