4/2/2009
An Online Marketing Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there were three little entrepreneurs named Moe, Larry, and Curly. They worked in the Virtual Forest, a shadowy land where danger lurked everywhere, especially in this vicious economic downturn. In all the world, the three little entrepreneurs were most afraid of the Big Bad Banker, who was set to put a lien on their assets. In order to pay down principal on their outstanding loans, Moe, Larry, and Curly decided the time had come to make changes.
Moe, who sold straw hats, decided on a traditional, interruption marketing campaign, complete with direct mail, banner advertising, and telemarketing solicitation. “These tactics worked for me in the ’80′s and the ’90′s and the ’00′s,” Moe observed. “No reason they won’t work for me now!” But to his dismay, the letters produced no inquiries, the banner ads delivered no conversions, and the only responses to his telemarketing calls were a couple of death threats. Sales slid until one day, Moe heard a knock at the door. “OPEN UP!” cried the Big Bad Banker. “Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your business away!” Moe grabbed Mrs. Moe and the kids and made a run for it.
Larry, who sold wood furniture, decided to hunker down and stockpile cash. “It would be imprudent to spend money on activities with no direct bottom line impact,” Larry reasoned. “I’ll stay in my house and ride it out.” But incoming orders dwindled, until one day his mountain of money had melted into a puddle of pocket change. That was the day he heard a knock at the door. “OPEN UP!” cried the Big Bad Banker. “Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your business away!” Larry grabbed Mrs. Larry and the kids and made a run for it.
Curly, who sold brick ovens, decided to start blogging and see what he could do on LinkedIn and Twitter. When Moe and Larry – who were now living in Curly’s basement – heard this, they laughed and laughed. “You might as well throw your cash in one of those ovens, for all the good social media will do you,” they scoffed. But Curly was not deterred, and in a few weeks, his oven business began to heat up.
A great lover of food, Curly blogged about his favorite recipes (which were, of course, best prepared in his premium oven model). Word spread around Twitter that his recipes were actually quite fantastic. Traffic to his website doubled and tripled, and then doubled and tripled again. People were not only ordering ovens, they were asking Curly if they could purchase a book of his recipes. A new revenue stream had been born!
One day, while Curly was counting his money, he heard a knock at the door. “OPEN UP!” cried the Big Bad Banker. “Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your business away!” Curly opened the door and flung a burlap bag full of silver dollars into his chest. “Oomph!” said the Big Bad Banker. “This should cover it. Have a nice day.”
In the years that followed, Curly’s business grew and grew – so profitably, in fact, that every new expansion was financed exclusively with internal resources. The Big Bad Banker never darkened his door again, and the Virtual Forest became as bright and happy as a kitten with a ball of string.
And what became of Moe and Larry? Their entrepreneurial dreams were dashed on the rocks of the vicious economic downturn. They and their families spent the rest of their days in reasonable comfort, counting Curly’s money and building ovens.
The End
18 Responses to An Online Marketing Fairy Tale
ROFL! Well, I don’t want to be Moe or Larry! Brad, this clever post demonstrates the need to adapt or die. What worked last year may not work today. Change is hard but to thrive we must quit raging against progress and fully embrace it. We old timers can take the new tools and make them our own, creating even better ways to implement them.
Karen Swims last blog post..Coming Soon to Theaters Near You
Hi Karen, You are definitely no Moe. A lot of companies out there are in slow Moe mode, which, as you say, simply doesn’t work.
Brad Shorrs last blog post..An Online Marketing Fairy Tale
Karen is no Moe? Yikes! Hope that doesn’t happen to me! :-O
A pithy tale, well told, Brad. Yup; the game has certainly changed, hasn’t it?
Robert Hruzeks last blog post..April Fool’s Day, 2009
Hi Robert, Yes, the game has changed. More challenging still is to consider how much more the game will change in the next four or five years.
Brad Shorrs last blog post..An Online Marketing Fairy Tale
LMAO Brad – I loved the way you told this story. It is certainly inportant to be able to recognise the need to change the way you market your business. But you revealed another interesting fact in this post.
Brick ovens aren’t the most exciting thing in the world and I guess that if Curly had focused on blogging about them he wouldn’t have had much joy. But the recipes attracted heaps of relevant readers to his blog. It just shows that with a little creative thinking, any business can succeed in social media marketing.
What a wonderful story, Brad! I’d like that to translate into German and spread it around here – it’s so good!
Ulla Hennigs last blog post..To Tweet or not to Tweet
Hi Cath and Ulla, I’m so glad you liked my little story! Believe it or not, this is not my first marketing fairy tale …
http://is.gd/que2
Cath, You make a really good point about using creativity to turn boring into relevant. I’d go even further and say companies making brick ovens should be creatively relevant throughout their website, something I know you’ll agree with.
Ulla, I grant you complete translation and distribution rights for German speaking readers!
Brad Shorrs last blog post..An Online Marketing Fairy Tale
Brad,
A great story.
Just one thing – are you sure those super annoying banner ads and telephone calls didn’t work for Moe? I would have thought that the practice of flashing annoying banner ads across the screen when customers are trying to get something done would have prompted customers to say:
“Oh, I’m so grateful that you cared enough to flash this banner ad in front of me. Now I just can’t wait to purchase what you have to offer!”
Surely, too, phone calls to private residences during family dinner time would prompt a similarly positive response.
Are you sure that Moe’s marketing brainwaves did not work?
Andrews last blog post..Fighting Genocide through Funds Management
Hi Andrew, Since you are such a big fan of direct mail and telemarketing, I will make sure to give your phone numbers and address to Moe and as many of his friends as possible! (Hope you manage to get some work done.)
Brad Shorrs last blog post..An Online Marketing Fairy Tale
Nice how a simple story can get the point across better than all the ranting in the world.
Fred H Schlegels last blog post..Have You Nipped Your Team’s Creative Spirit In The Bud?
Hi Fred, Kind of like a billboard to get hired, eh?
Brad Shorrs last blog post..An Online Marketing Fairy Tale
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